Although I've lost so much to drinking, I feel like there's some hope. I feel like some things can turn back the way they used to be. My main goal for 2024 is to become sober again and regain everyone's trust back....
after doin the 4th, 5th, 8th, and 9th steps i had no doubt i was alcoholic. if i had done each of those steps to the best of my ability, usin honesty, willingness, and humility as guides while exercisin em, how could i surmise anythin less? i kept the thought within that maybe someday i...
i could not see the damage i was doin to my family, others, or myself back in the days of doin my dirt. to think i was doin anythin other than the norm, was a thought i could not fathom. and when i did come to realize it, the excuse which kept me wrapped in...
I've been reflecting on my actions a lot and one lesson I've learned is that everything I've lost would've been lost if I hadn't started drinking again, in turn making my disorder and my thinking worse. This lesson needs to be THE lesson and I intend to make the right decisions from here on out,...
i cannot recall when i lost the ability to control the drinkin i did back in the days of doin my dirt, but i do understand today, i did. i do not know when i decided to make decisions based on self to use alcohol to solve the personal problems i had, but i understand...
the idea of protection and care from an entity i cannot physically see, feel, or hear, had always seemed to elude me throughout the days of doin my dirt. unless i needed a santa god, there was no belief in anythin other than self. what seemingly did take away my problems, was my need to...
i get to live a certain liberation and strength today. though i may still struggle with surrender, the surrender i learned in my early recovery from utter defeat, helps me with the surrender i must practice today. as i get to live my humanness im still a person who lives by self-will to an extent....
fer a time in my early recovery, i did not know if i would go back to doin my dirt. the thought was loomin fer months; the goose hung high. i recall the drinkin dreams, and they came hard, and strong. they always seemed so real, like they had happened in reality. as my time...
Today was not so hard. I didn't cry, though I felt a little sad. I took a 4 hour nap which helped me a lot. I feel like my friend and I are bonding more and more, day by day, which is very nice. It's good to have someone by my side through this difficult...
gettin sober was a big thing fer me. within a short amount of time the chaos that surrounded me settled down. i found the less i caused it, the less there was. it was an amazin feelin. unfortunately, even as shit settled, i still had to contend with me; my mind still raced. i couldnt...