my sponsor asked me when i first came into the rooms this last time, if i had a “God problem”. my answer was somethin like, “ there may be somethin out there, but what ev it may be, i dont believe”. he suggested i try usin the program of Alcoholics Anonymous as an HP. that...
what it took fer me was to listen, then watch. i listened in meetins to what others were sayin, then watched how they managed the circumstances they described, and what came about from the action and behavior they used, to live through a particular situation. when i seen how they reacted to their dilemma, usin...
i cannot recall the specific day i surrendered to this simple idea. but i do know it did happen. i cannot recall the specific day i accepted this simple idea. but i do know it happened. even as there may be times i fight fer my self-will, in the end, i usually surrender after ive...
recovery has taken me to places i never thought id get to go. ive learned how to be a person who is self-conscious in healthy ways. ive learned how to watch fer selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. and when i find these perfectly normal human emotions come, recovery has given me tools to use to...
this is somethin ive done since early in my recovery. i can recall my sponsor at the time askin me to try it. at first i thought his ass was crazy, but i followed his suggestion. within the month tryin it i could sense the difference it made. since those times ive done it daily,...
i could not feel the transformation within others were tellin me they were seein in my early recovery. everythin within still seemed chaotic, totally unmanageable, and discombobulated. watchin others seemingly be at peace with the world around em, listenin to how they were able to live that way, left me no doubt somethin was workin...
when i finally came to terms with acceptin i was the one who had caused a vast majority of my own problems through selfishness i had to understand the reality if i had continued on, i wouldve most def been the one who caused my own demise. i could no longer force blame on others....
it was explained to me that surrenderin my self-will should be a rather easy process. i was told much to my objection that i had already done it fer most of my drinkin days with alcohol, that through my involvement with my alcoholism i had surrendered to its every whim. of course, at 1st i...
when i watched the people in the rooms it gave me hope that i could obtain the lifestyle they had seemed to have procured. it was hard fer me to continue to live with loneliness, frustration, anger, and fear anymore. i most def didnt feel happy within, but the people in the rooms helped me...
its been my experience the only thing which stops me from bein willin is my own self-will. pride is most def a factor in hinderin my ability to try somethin ive never done before. when i become willin i begin to surrender my self-will within. i resist surrender coz in my flawed view it makes...