I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder in 1994 in the seventh year of my recovery from addiction, by a specialist in the field. I know I’m not the only one. Many of us deal with the debilitating symptoms of anxiety at different times in our lives. For a few years medication helped to blanket
LOOKING FOR MY BLOND SPOT
GOLDEN VIOLIN THREAD
A little of my STEP 1: once I start using, I can’t stop or control my using. Using controls me. As a result, my life becomes garbage. I’m totally focused on getting & using my substance of choice, coming down when I can’t get more, scheming and planning how to get more – but more
Some as precious and spectacular as rubies some as ominous and treacherous as fools gold whether dark or light each sticks to our bones and falsifies our essence. Some sparkle in fantastic splendour memories of stolen moments of joy, passion, mischief. Afraid to let them escape from our depths in case the feeling ends in
I saw a man talk to death today. I didn’t know if they parted company, or became stead fast friends. I saw a woman from her bike pass something to the medic, not overtly concerned at her rock still companion, his chest compressed, his temple bloodied. Perhaps her friends shock and awe, were
And we walk in shadows, always asking for something, always hoping to be seen, heard, loved… Yet trees grow tall, so old, unconcerned with this and that or who they might be today, or tomorrow… Eventually we too will be relieved of this duty to be… and simply exist unaided by the silly idea
Thank you God for Guiding Me, My pen and My Thoughts. As I waver at the brink of darkness it threatens me with control. I remember to pray, the darkness recedes and bright God consciousness settles in its place. Many prayers have gone into this lovely shifting. Being sick and tired of revisiting that nightmare
As I sit here, now aged forty two, and think about my life, many emotions flood my heart. There are so many things I want to write and share with the world. Yet, knowing where to start is sometimes confusing. Sadness comes in remembering the dark, abusive places I have come from. Comfort comes when
Despite my white knuckling, I have somehow managed to get fourteen months free of drinking and drugging under my belt. I went to rehab not knowing anything about A.A or that it would even be a part of my treatment. I still remember my first meeting and the relief I felt at not being alone
