Deep down inside of me, right down the hallway from where I keep my skeletons in the closet, was an old not so well lit room. It had no windows, wreaked of stale beer and cigarette smoke and was probably one of the most inhospitable of places you can find if you ask me. I

The screen is blank. A bottle of Pellegrino on the small bronze table ahead. My feet are propped on a blue and white patterned pouf ottoman. I was in the kitchen a few minutes ago before sitting down. Had every intention to write about control, a topic in my AA meeting this morning. But a

  “Don’t die with the music still in you.” – Rosemary O’Connor In this chapter of O’Connor’s self-help book, Rosemary examines the concept of living life in recovery. We don’t get clean or sober to live in a bubble or to just stay frozen in time. While in our addiction, we never thought about the

                      Another morning ruined. Stale mouth and sweat Puking Cringing Memories flashing great atrocities.   In a sick aggressive nature I seek more.        

Sexual trauma and co-dependency….finding the connection will be interesting. In Rosemary O’Connor’s book about taking care of ourselves in order to take care of our kids, she discusses two topics that go to the core of our self-esteem. Trauma consists of a deeply distressing or disturbing experience and it affects us on all levels:  physical,

    I’ve got this cat – his name is Bastian. A fifteen-year-old, stoic, Merlin-type with a childlike need for affection. A snowball of soft, pure-white fluff with spots of light gray like continents. His eyes are celestite marbles that vibrate when looking at you. Bounce side to side like one of those alarm clocks

Carolyn Elliott is my latest mentor and probably the most bullshit free teacher I’ve ever had. She has taught me the essence of being fearless and thorough, which is spoken about often in the recovery world, but rarely have I seen it……until now. This exquisite woman doesn’t just sparkle, she sizzles. When I came across

  I’d address you by name but you have so many so I’ll just call you booze. When I first met you, you made me feel loved, secure and at peace. You lent me your strength. Your charm rubbed off on me. I felt like a better man when I embraced you. You had me

  Imagine living everyday wondering if your child is going to live or die Imagine second guessing every decision you have ever made and always asking why Imagine hugging your child so tight and thinking will he make it through the night Imagine your worst fears for your loved one coming true and when you

  In this next essay on Rosemary O’Connor’s wonderful book about being a mother in recovery, we tackle two very thorny subjects….dating and money. Let’s start with dating. I can’t count how many times I have heard a woman tell her story at a meeting, and at some point in the lead, she says “And