Today, my life is unrecognizable from how it used to be, mostly on the inside. I was always good at pretending, or ‘putting a face on’. I smiled even when I felt completely worthless and miserable. Addictive Eaters Anonymous has changed everything around. I am no longer dying on the inside. Now I have a sense of belonging and a purpose for my life. I am part of something far greater than myself, a worldwide fellowship of people who were just as beaten by life as I was. Having recovered, they now carry the message of recovery from food and all mind-altering substances with others, including me. My life in Addictive Eaters Anonymous is unrecognizable – truly.
My efforts to control my eating failed to give me peace
Before I found Addictive Eaters Anonymous, a typical day would be dragging myself out of bed with a heavy heart. I’d pour myself a coffee right away, and spend the rest of the day trying to control and enjoy my eating. All my efforts were in vain. I tried everything to control my weight, from bulimia to compulsive exercise. I’d constantly search for new workout regimes and talk all day long about healthy diets and my latest exercise plan. Despite looking very fit physically my mind was in constant overdrive. There was no peace whatsoever from constantly thinking about myself, overanalyzing situations and feeling hopeless. I had no idea how to live a peaceful life.
With the help of a sponsor, the 12-Step programme of Addictive Eaters Anonymous and my Higher Power, I am able to experience contentment in my life today. I am no longer alone with constant self-obsession and fear about what other people think of me. No longer is it a struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I don’t need to obsess about food all day, what I’ll eat, what food I’ll keep down, or what I’ll throw up. That constant judgemental thinking doesn’t control me anymore and I can relax and take it easy today.
No longer stuck in self and the food, I get to laugh more and to help others
Each day I phone other AEA members and we usually get around to chatting about how I can be useful to someone else. That is one of the things I love the most about being sober from food and all mind-altering substances. Every day, I ask for help to make someone else’s day a little bit brighter. I love being useful. It is so much better than mulling around thinking about myself all the time. I get to laugh more, to not take myself so seriously, and, best of all, other people have a chance to relax around me. What is more important to me now is how I behave towards others. I am so fortunate that a fellowship like AEA exists and is available to anyone suffering from the illness of addiction. My life in Addictive Eaters Anonymous is unrecognizable and so could yours!
