At the Women’s Wisdom Healing Circle that I facilitate every Sunday on InTheRooms.com (please come join us at Noon EST), we like to get deep with our topics. This past Sunday I chose to open up with a brief personal experience of going from shockingly low self-esteem, barely being able to keep a roof over mine and my children’s heads and being so depressed I could barely wash myself most days, to where I am now….
….living fully.
But what does that even mean?
Is it just another guru-esk phrase to bamboozle our brains?
Or is there something to this that none of us can afford to ignore?
In my experience, the latter is true. I could not and cannot afford to ignore this concept. By doing so, I am, in essence, ignoring everything that I authentically am. I have searched and searched for the answer to happiness and fulfilment. I’ve now discovered I’ve had the answer all along.
If this sounds too love and light for you, here is the layman’s way of saying the same thing.
Living fully, in my estimation, is getting so brave that you scare the hell out of yourself most days of the week. You do this by stepping outside your comfort zone, out of that strategically placed box that has been created for you, and living life with you at the helm.
And I know you know what I mean. I know that as you read this, you recognize the discomfort rising in you because you have that internal voice too. You’re clean and sober. You’ve quit overeating, you’ve got your sex addiction, smoking, spending all under control….
….but that gnawing, gut churning, irritating feeling won’t go away. It can be hellish at times. Repetitive thoughts that seemingly come from nowhere and give you a burn in your soul, haunt you.
What the hell is it?
Well, that would be your calling my dear. Your life purpose; the reason you were put on the planet, begging and demanding to be heard after years of being drowned out with whatever substance or behaviour you’ve been obsessed with. Now, at last, there’s room for it to make itself known to you.
And it’s impatient and loud and pissed off with being tossed aside. Now your fearful, limiting thoughts and your deep inner knowing that you have important life’s work to do, are in hand to hand combat. As one woman put it at the Womens Wisdom Healing Circle….”I have two versions of myself living inside me.”
Can’t we all relate to that? The mental push and pull we deal with every day between what we feel obligated to and what our true life’s purpose is.
The question is….which version of yourself will you pick?
Well let’s look at the options here.
Your first option is, a life lived mediocrely. You will be somewhat happy. You may have a great job, a great family, and life looks good on the outside. But there’s that something missing. A burning, a creativity, a dormant part of yourself that you know is there but you haven’t met yet.
Your other option is to live fully. To choose a path that isn’t always easy. Where you decide to take action, and scare the crap out of yourself on a daily or weekly basis, until that fear becomes joy. On deeper investigation, I discovered that fear and joy are one and the same thing….it just depends on your perspective.
Living fully takes sacrifice at first.
You may need to survive on less money and work less hours so you can dedicate time to your passion. It may mean working long hours at your job and then staying up later to pursue that dream. It may simply be buying that material to make that dress, or sing that song, or paint that picture. It could be to write a novel.
Or it just may be being brave enough to say hi to that girl you’ve always wanted to talk to, or sit in a café by yourself despite feeling socially awkward.
Bravery is living fully. To ignite your heart and soul with feeling fear and doing it anyway becomes a lifestyle. It will take you to places inside yourself that you never knew existed. To practice bravery on a small scale will open you up like nothing else can. It will then snowball until you have no choice but to have a new and brilliant experience of life.
Is your inner dialogue going to continue to be “I’ve always wanted to do that but”….and you then list a million reasons why you can’t do that thing?
Or are you finally, after all your hard work and slog and turning your life around, going to allow yourself to live the life you’ve always dreamed of?
It’s your choice. It’s your life. I hope you live it fully!
9 Comments
I love this peice Nicky, because often the gifts of sobriety are overlooked as we tend to concentrate on the end goal! When you live fully It is hard for any of us to be able to recognize ourselves!
Except there is a typo should be piece!!!!
Great article once again Nicky……..shame it’s only a womens group as some of us blokes could do with opening up like this!
Greg
Thank you Nicky,
It was indeed a wonderful and powerful meeting on Sunday, and thank you for a great hour of power! The collective energy was amazing and offered me a shift in perspective to reflect in. I felt the earth move under me seat 🙂
This is such a great article on tapping into that place inside that is all knowing, and encouraging to take a risk to live free. Love to you and thank you for all your passion and expertise. Xo
Hi Nicky, thanks for letting those of us familiar with ITR aware of this meeting. Looking forward to joining you and others. Nice read, I always have to remind myself: ~Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. ~ thanks much xnavygal (jen)
Thank you Nicky. I love what you said about scaring ourselves because if we aren’t living fully, we are never scared…we are just ‘ho hum’, lukewarm, etc. I have passed your article on to several people.
Excellent piece!!! and such an inspiration & affirmation of the vitality & wisdom of our inner selves…once we get out of our own damn ways (which begins with getting sober–in my case, putting down the wine that was, literally, “drowning” my inner voice) & allow ourselves to truly connect to our Self, in all her wisdom. I teach yoga to women in recovery, & this is where I try to get them to journey. Wish they could access your Sunday meetings, but I’ll come myself & pass it on to them! Thanks so much, Nicky!
Mind blowing dare for all of us to step out of our comfort zone. My creative self is wanting to burst free and do what she was destined to do. My frightened and comfortable self bound up in ropes of self made chains does not want to escape. “I know this place,” she shouts. Now you come along and beautifully deliver a message that can’t be ignored. Nicky you have fed my creative self with hope, possibility, faith, and a seed of courage to break free. I will let you know which side I listened to, as I walk on this path of self discovery. I’ve said over and over that you are indeed my muse. Here you have laid out the road map that you have traveled for all of us to see that it is possible to break free. It really is never too late. Bravo maestro, you have conducted another genius symphony of the written word. In addition, you have given us a bold and courageous challenge. Do we dare choose to take it or will we fearfully flee?
Thank you for all your wonderful words of wisdom, I am a follower. Now to find what I can do not what I can not do